Broke Banker

Really, Banker Who Is “Broker Than The Ten Commandments”?

I don’t know much about banking, but I’ve played more than one game of OREGON TRAIL in my day, and I know that any banker worth his or her salt has at least $600 on his or her person at all times.  And that’s in mid-nineteenth-century Boston dollars!

Get with the times.  Like, the times of 1843.  Else you’re bound certain for a grave, thus:

Friend And Mobile Phone User

I’d be lying if I pretended that this was too much more than an indictment on the better part of the mobile-phone-using public (everyone), who seem to have forgotten what it means to make and keep plans.  Anyway…

Really, Buddy Who Was Supposed To Meet Us At The Restaurant Last Night?

We just made these plans earlier that day.  Certainly if they were to be canceled or changed, I’d have told you.  You called me, and I didn’t answer–about 45 minutes before our prescribed meeting time, mind you–and you just drove the half-hour home, without any intention of coming back out.

Is there a good reason (there isn’t) that you couldn’t just do as we had planned to do, not six hours before?  In the days before mobile phones, people made plans and then stuck with them.  You didn’t have to call or text someone every seven minutes to make sure the plans were still on, because you assumed they would be, since they were, you know, agreed upon at some point, and if they were off, you’d be notified, and if you weren’t, it wasn’t that big of a deal anyway.  As it wouldn’t have been in this case.  Especially since the plans went forth as discussed, without a hitch (except for your failure to show).

Good one.  Of course, by “good one,” I mean “Really?”

Ice Policy

So the landlord of your workplace won’t shell out to salt the walks on an icy day.

The company itself is, of course, far too cheap for that, too.

So you get to walk to work on icy patches you can’t even see, and the policy is one not of prevention, but of “if you fall and hurt yourself, contact HR for information on how to proceed.”

When you took that spill this morning, hitting your head on the pavement, you were in a bit of a daze for a second. As you came out of it to approach a proper level of awareness again, you could hardly help but wonder, Really?

(Propers to the feller that pulled over and offered to drive you the rest of the way into the office.)

Local Watering Hole

Really, Frequented Bar Whose Posted Closing Time Is 3:00AM?

I understand the need for “bar time”–the time indicated on clocks in bars, typically 10-20 minutes later than the actual time, to make sure that people are absolutely out and gone by the business’s closing time, to avoid mishap with liquor licenses and such.

3:00AM, though, your sign states you close.  Is there a good reason that the lights are coming up and the music has ended at what even your bar-time clocks indicate to be 2:10AM?

Really?