Really, Fella Just Ahead Of Me In Line At The Post Office?
Now that you’ve finished whatever business you had as the first customer of our local branch of the United States Postal Service today, I’m traveling in a straight line from where I’ve been standing to get to the counter, being next in line–and only in line, or in the post office altogether, at that. There is, therefore/after all, plenty of room on either side of me, and neither route around my person is going to get you out of here significantly quicker than the other. Not that you’re concerned too much with time; I did overhear a bit of your needless gum-flapping at the decidedly uninterested clerk, oblivious to the notion that some of us did have better (or at very least, other) places to be. By “some of us,” of course, I mean “I”–you’ll recall I’m the only one here, and that clerk certainly isn’t going anywhere soon, having just opened up.
I’m not really interested in wasting any of your time, though, so I’ll walk in a straight line, which, if you did too, you’d make it to the exit completely unimpeded by my presence. Nope, now you’ve decided you have to walk directly toward me, thereby coercing yourself into a position where your requisite next action is to determine which way you’re going to go around me. This way? Wait wait–no, this way–no, back that way–wait wait, no good, you’ll choose this way–one more little jig, an “excuse me” that could have been avoided with ease, and you’ve gone that way.
Good job and see ya later (or with luck, never), dunce. Maybe you’re somehow related to that fella I encountered in the bathroom awhile back? My vector physics aren’t what they used to be, but I’m pretty sure the shortest distance between two points on the same plane (in this case, the post office floor) is a straight line. I can tell by the look on your face, though, that any explanation of this most fundamental concept (or any other concept, fundamental or otherwise) is bound, at best, to be met with your inquiry of “Really?”
Posted by Really? Of The Day 
