Really, Apparently Blind, Deaf, And Stupid People?
I do not have wire-rim glasses, or even very large glasses. I do not wear moon boots or ringer tees, but I do wear hats and shorts on occasion (unlike the character in question). My speaking voice is not gruff and my speech is not stunted. I don’t have buck teeth or perpetually half-closed eyes, and my hair is decidedly not considerable as either red, or curled tightly to my head in “fro” fashion.
Really (no, not that kind of Really, yet), the similarities between Napoleon Dynamite and I, at least to any stranger on the street and/or casual observer-from-afar, end with our both being tall and relatively thin fellas with glasses. So I ask you, obnoxiously vocal commentators on the appearance or demeanor of others, is there a good reason that I never get compared to John Lennon, Christopher Reeve, Geraldo Rivera, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, or Elvis Costello? Because I might as well, for all the similarities that exist as part of the comparison that, in spite of all odds and evidence to the contrary, I just can’t seem to shake: Napoleon Dynamite.
While I’m busy coming up with a response to this most irritating of “Has Anyone Ever Told You…”-style questions–a response that will make you dolts universally and unfailingly feel either uncomfortable for approaching me in the first place, or stupid for making such a nonexistent comparison–let us commence on the road to your apparently-necessary recovery with a little eyesight test, shall we?
Posted by Really? Of The Day 
