Internet-Based Library Catalogue

Really, otherwise-handy internet-based method of perusing the local city library catalogue and placing things on hold?

All of a sudden, between certain undisclosed nighttime hours, you just decide not to operate?  Is there a switch that someone flips at the library HQ before leaving, and/or sometime around midnight (as best as I can tell) such that the catalogue doesn’t work in these arbitrary “after hours”?

I’m just about sure: you don’t have any items in your catalogue that match with the word “see.”  Nope, not a single title with that combination of letters within.  Surely this has nothing to do with the fact that it’s around 4:00AM.  Surely.

Who programmed this thing?  Because, fire him or her.  There’s another library in town whose catalogue I can look at (and from which I can request things to be put on hold) via the internet 24 hours a day, without fail.  You’re better than this.  Hire the ones that made that other library’s catalogue.  It’s a smart move.

Update your primitive, or at least inconvenient, system.  Or, face the Really?

Band On A Social Networking Site

The name of your band is “That’s What She Said.”

Clearly you’ve never read this, not that you should have to in order to know what a crappy band name that is, and what a crummy sense of humor your collective outfit has.

Much like you don’t have to have read our earlier entry to know how idiotic you appear (on the internet, of all places!), I don’t have to listen to your music to know I don’t like it.  By “it,” of course, I mean “you.”

Friend request DENIED.

And Really?‘d.

Sears Tower

Really, Sears Tower?

Of course, I refer to you by your real name, because you can hardly expect anyone to start calling you something else after all this time.

While we’re at it, why not start renaming some of our national monuments, our landmark court cases, and our former Presidents?

Really?

British Person

I live in the United States of America, and every once in awhile, I’m interested in knowing what the weather is, or will be, like.

This first statement clearly doesn’t apply to you, British person, but I figured this second was pretty much a worldwide given regardless of living situation, class, race, religion, creed, sexual orientation, or shoe size.  The weather affects humans whether we humans like it or not.

I don’t live in the United Kingdom, though, and the United Kingdom is just wacky enough that I’m unsure as to whether they typically speak of temperatures in terms of Fahrenheit or Celsius (or heck, both). After all, they do use miles to measure distances sometimes (right?).

Here in the United States of America, most of us understand Fahrenheit best, and you rarely, if ever, see weather forecasts in degrees Celsius as a default (or even a supplement).

So today, when I say that the local temperature will reach about 75˚F on the high side, and translate that to approximately 24˚C, then proceed to ask which scale you typically see/understand temperatures in, “I’m not really sure” doesn’t seem to be an acceptable answer.

Ya try to learn somethin’ about the world, and instead you get a hundred-degree (but is that Celsius, or Fahrenheit?) “Really?”

People I Haven’t Heard From In Awhile

Aren’t I in your address book somewhere?  No?  Then why are you even contacting me?

Good work, sifting through old E-Mails to find the last one I sent you, so you can reply to that, rather than just starting afresh with a brand new subject/thread, which would have both been easier and made more sense otherwise.

Save the “RE:”s for actual responses to issues addressed.  For yourself, though, save the Really?

Guy That I Somehow Still Consider A Friend

Really, guy I see and invite to social occasions with regularity and frequency?

I admit, most of our correspondence that isn’t face-to-face is via E-Mail.

Still, I have called you on the telephone a great number of times.  Every time I do so, you seem not to know who is calling (e.g. “Megan?  Which Megan?”).  Is it so hard to save my number one of these times to save yourself the confusion (and me the offense taken) next time?

While we’re talking about you specifically, why would you think a social networking message was the best way to get back in touch with me when I’ve sent you countless E-Mails?

I’ve changed your identity in my own address book.  From now on, my caller ID will respond to calls from you with a visible-only-to-me “Really?”

Broke Banker

Really, Banker Who Is “Broker Than The Ten Commandments”?

I don’t know much about banking, but I’ve played more than one game of OREGON TRAIL in my day, and I know that any banker worth his or her salt has at least $600 on his or her person at all times.  And that’s in mid-nineteenth-century Boston dollars!

Get with the times.  Like, the times of 1843.  Else you’re bound certain for a grave, thus:

Friend And Mobile Phone User

I’d be lying if I pretended that this was too much more than an indictment on the better part of the mobile-phone-using public (everyone), who seem to have forgotten what it means to make and keep plans.  Anyway…

Really, Buddy Who Was Supposed To Meet Us At The Restaurant Last Night?

We just made these plans earlier that day.  Certainly if they were to be canceled or changed, I’d have told you.  You called me, and I didn’t answer–about 45 minutes before our prescribed meeting time, mind you–and you just drove the half-hour home, without any intention of coming back out.

Is there a good reason (there isn’t) that you couldn’t just do as we had planned to do, not six hours before?  In the days before mobile phones, people made plans and then stuck with them.  You didn’t have to call or text someone every seven minutes to make sure the plans were still on, because you assumed they would be, since they were, you know, agreed upon at some point, and if they were off, you’d be notified, and if you weren’t, it wasn’t that big of a deal anyway.  As it wouldn’t have been in this case.  Especially since the plans went forth as discussed, without a hitch (except for your failure to show).

Good one.  Of course, by “good one,” I mean “Really?”

Ice Policy

So the landlord of your workplace won’t shell out to salt the walks on an icy day.

The company itself is, of course, far too cheap for that, too.

So you get to walk to work on icy patches you can’t even see, and the policy is one not of prevention, but of “if you fall and hurt yourself, contact HR for information on how to proceed.”

When you took that spill this morning, hitting your head on the pavement, you were in a bit of a daze for a second. As you came out of it to approach a proper level of awareness again, you could hardly help but wonder, Really?

(Propers to the feller that pulled over and offered to drive you the rest of the way into the office.)

Local Watering Hole

Really, Frequented Bar Whose Posted Closing Time Is 3:00AM?

I understand the need for “bar time”–the time indicated on clocks in bars, typically 10-20 minutes later than the actual time, to make sure that people are absolutely out and gone by the business’s closing time, to avoid mishap with liquor licenses and such.

3:00AM, though, your sign states you close.  Is there a good reason that the lights are coming up and the music has ended at what even your bar-time clocks indicate to be 2:10AM?

Really?